Sunday, September 15, 2019

Walking the Tightrope

Today's soundtrack is brought to you by The Greatest Showman:

I'm writing this morning after coming off of a really hard week. One of those weeks where it feels like you are knocked down, over and over, and every time you try to stand up, another gust of wind comes and keeps you on the ground.

But I wouldn't say it's been a bad week. Sure, that's easier to say on this side of it, but it's been a week full of learning through the struggle and facing what's going on instead of running away from it. Ultimately, I know that will lead to healthier and better outcomes.

So, what's been going on?

Our organization is going through a lot of change at the moment. A massive reorganization of district staff supporting instruction means that I am in a new role, working with a new team, for a new supervisor, in a new place...and so is everyone else. Our jobs are still being defined, and we don't exactly know what everything looks like yet. Of course, as we are figuring things out, we all have a tendency to fill in the blanks with what makes sense to us in our frame of reference. And now, a month into the school year, these assumptions are starting to come out and grate against each other. And that's uncomfortable!

At the moment, I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope. On one side is where we hope to get to with this change - being super supportive to schools, working well together as a team, and doing everything we can to set our students up for success. On the other side is the messy chaos and fears that come with making a change. On a personal level, one side contains a world where I feel excited about my work, where I see how I am making a difference, and where I have strong relationships with teammates and schools. On the other side, I feel purposeless, unsure of what I am doing or why I am doing it, and feel disconnected from those I am meant to work closely with.


The messy middle

I've always loved the term "the messy middle." It acknowledges the reality of things being hard in the moment, but simultaneously shares the hope of things getting better. And that is exactly where I am at right now. Holding on, clinging to my belief that this stage will slowly start to fade away and I will find myself more firmly planted on the light side.

Supporting through change

So, why do I share all of this here? Some of it is because I want to be real on this blog, and share both the triumphs and the struggles. But beyond that, it has made me think about how we support people through change. What felt supportive to me this week?
  • Listening - letting me share and process as I tried to navigate the tension I have been feeling
  • Reassurance that it was okay to be in this place - we don't have to pretend that everything is great all of the time, and we have all felt this way at times
  • A bit of margin - permission to go outside and take a walk for a minute to clear my head and not feel bad for not "working" during this time
  • Asking questions - helping me see things from another perspective
  • Attending to both the concrete solutions/ideas (let's try this to help) and the deeper emotional side (I hear that you are feeling like this) - seeing the whole person
  • Affirmation - when things feel unsteady, it is easy to doubt myself, and the words (especially from supervisors) about what I am doing well were helpful reminders to me
I know that, being in a district-level position, part of my role is help others navigate change as well. I hope that I can be just as supportive as my leaders have been to me, largely through doing things on this list, and through doing that, we will all be able to walk through this change (and others that will come!) and come out stronger on the other side.

How do you support others in navigating change?

Sunday, September 1, 2019

Connecting with Parents

I want to relay a powerful experience I had at an elementary school Back to School Night this week. I attended the first session with some of the relocated refugee families that I work with, and didn't think much of it - it was a pretty typical presentation by the teachers, something that I have taken part in dozens of times.

As we went out to dinner (kudos to this school and their community partners, who provide dinner for families at Back to School Night), one of the parents asked me how she could help her kids with her homework, because sometimes she understood it and sometimes she didn't.

This conversation got me thinking - was she walking away from B2SN feeling empowered to partner with the school to help her students, or dis-empowered because she didn't have the requisite skills?

As we went back for the second session (siblings!), I tried to listen to the presentations through that lens. I heard many great ideas from teachers about how parents can help, such as "read to/with your child," "read clocks with them," "talk about numbers in your everyday life," etc. And it made me think...if I couldn't read with my child or read a clock myself, how would I feel? Would I see a place for myself in this home-school partnership, or would I leave the education of the kids to the school?

Let me be clear...the teachers didn't do anything wrong. Of course we want to provide ideas for how parents can be involved and help their students at home! And the ideas they provided were perfectly appropriate.

I also want to be clear...while these parents may not be literate (in English or their own language), they have a multitude of skills and things to contribute to their child's education, and they WANT to be supportive and involved.

I'm just wondering how we bridge the two. I don't have any perfect answers, but I think it is important for us as educators to think about how an event meant to connect families, when viewed through a different lens, may actually be subtly doing the opposite. And maybe, just having that little bit of perspective and sensitivity can lead to a conversation or comment that helps ALL families feel empowered to take part in the education of their students.

I'm so grateful for this moment to step into the perspective of this parent to learn something new. I've never thought about this before, and I hope that it will spark some small change in me...and others...in the future!