5 Things I've Learned About Tough Decisions

When my supervisor asked me how my week has been, I responded that "I've felt a little beat up this week. But I'm happy with how I'm handling it." Being an administrator is full of making tough decisions, and often, those decisions generate negative feedback. Sometimes, like this week, a bunch of circumstances all converge, and it feels like I am hearing negative feedback about many different decisions and aspects of my job all at once.

"So what? It's a part of the job," you might say. It's true, but the problem is that I can be an approval addict. I want everyone to like me, all of the time! I know it's not healthy or possible, but it doesn't stop me from feeling uncomfortable when somebody is unhappy with me. This year has yielded many, *ahm*, "opportunities" to practice getting over this tendency.

As our conversation continued, she asked me, "What's different, that makes you you feel like you are handling it well?" While I can't narrow it down to just one thing, here are five things I've learned about making tough decisions:

1. Root your decisions in data, and don't be afraid to share your thought process.

This has been one of the biggest things for me to fall back on in my conversations. I don't make decisions "just because". There is a method to the madness! And when it is rooted in data, whether qualitative or quantitative, it is easier to articulate in a way that makes sense. Transparency and building understanding go a long way in helping people move forward after tough decisions.

2. Respond. Don't put it off.

As I have heard from a wide variety of stakeholders about decisions that I have made and responded, some people have seemed genuinely surprised and grateful to get a response. It's so tempting for me to put off calling back after hearing a voicemail or responding to an unhappy email, but when I do, it actually starts the conversation off on a good note, because it shows that I genuinely value their feedback and am willing to have a conversation.

3. K.I.S.S.

Tough conversations can wander all over the place, which is okay, but in the end, I want to keep it simple. I need to be able to boil my decision down to a couple of simple talking points and keep returning to them. This takes me out of the space of having to respond to every emotion and accusation that comes up, and focuses on the core issue. I don't mean to say that you shouldn't listen and respond, or that you shouldn't be open to changing your mind...but make sure you are staying rooted in the real issue at hand, and not wandering into side issues as you go.

4. Proactive communication > reactive communication

As much as possible, proactive communication can help soften and set the stage when decisions need to be made. Nobody likes feeling caught off-guard! Sometimes it even helps to know that a decision is coming, so people can prepare themselves for it.

On a similar note, if you think that things might escalate, it never hurts to give your boss a heads-up that you anticipate some possible pushback. At that point, you can make sure you are on the same page and both feel comfortable with the decision, as well as your response.

5. Trust yourself, but be open to others.

Ultimately, no matter how others feel about it, some decisions are mine to make. I have to be confident enough in myself to know that I am doing the best I can with what I have, and that is enough. Sometimes I'll make mistakes, and that is okay too. This is where being open to others comes in. Prior to making a tough decision, soliciting feedback can keep you from missing certain angles and perspectives. After a decision has been made, if somebody points out something you haven't thought of, be open to that. Weigh it against your reasoning, and see if it changes your thought process. Don't be afraid to take more time to think about it if necessary. But in the end, if the decision is yours to make, the person you have to convince is yourself. Trust your instincts.

We all have decisions to make every day. What have you learned about making tough decisions? Share your tips and thoughts below!

2018 Reflection | #OneWord2018 | INTEGRITY

As 2018 comes to a close, I am sitting in a warm house, looking out at the sparkling snow, with much to be grateful for. A new job (which I love!), new experiences (best of all, #DEN18), and so much growth, both personal and professional. I want to look back on my #OneWord2018 to guide my reflections.
*Fair warning: This post is about me, and I feel a bit selfish writing it. But isn't that what personal reflections are?

This year, I wanted to focus on integrity, with three components being engage(ing), courage, and initiative. This played out in many ways as through the year!

In January, I was able to be spontaneous and engage with new friends as I took a trip to California to meet #PLN buddies in person! I also enjoyed a trip to string camp, in which I found & had the integrity to admit, for the first time, that I was happy to be in ed tech and moving on from my time teaching in the classroom.

In February, I celebrated the culmination of my #OneWord2017 (LEAD) journey by summoning the courage to press "submit" on my PRAXIS (spoiler: I passed)!

In March, I did a lot of reflecting, and took the initiative to really think about #selfcare as a part of being a healthy educator.

In April, I earned my #GoogleET certification and blogged publicly, for the first time, about my desire to apply for the #GoogleEI program - it took courage to put it out there for accountability!

In May, I wrote about continuing to learn and grow as an ed tech leader and engaged in "real talk" as I shared my first #GoogleEI application and thoughts along the way.

In June, I wrote with integrity about my honest feelings about not getting into #LAX18, enjoyed seeing ways that music teachers were taking initiative to take ideas even further, and met SO MANY friends IRL at #ISTE2018! What a highlight that was, and a reminder of how special it is when we are ourselves - both online and in person - rather than wearing a mask or putting on a persona!

In July, I engaged in some more honest sharing as I wrote about changes (having no idea what was coming in my own life) and took the initiative to not only attend another #EdTechTeam summit but convince my brother to present with me (which was amazing)!

In August, I learned about taking a step back and allowing others to find the courage to lead and published one of my more popular posts of the year with the results of a survey about what people were looking for from ed tech specialists in schools that I took the initiative to put together.

In September, a lot happened as I had the courage to put myself out there! I moderated my first Twitter chat, applied for #GoogleEI again (and got accepted this time!), and started a new job. Talk about a big month!

In October, I thought a lot about leading with integrity and what that meant in my new position - from the messages I was sending to the struggle with balance to the need for courageous choices & conversations.

November wins the award for the most blogs written in a month, because I was at #DEN18 and blogged my way through! I made the decision after the first day of the academy to write vulnerably and engage in a real, raw way, which took courage and initiative. It ended up being a great experience that further fueled my desire to live with integrity and walk my talk of what I think is important!

Which brings us to December, where I exercised that integrity by making sure I was living a life that demonstrated #selfcare, took the initiative to bring some fun to the office, and wrote about my struggles and lessons learned with listening to others.

It's been a great year, and I truly see how my #OneWord2018 was woven in and out of my experiences! What will 2019 bring? Check back next week to see my #OneWord2019 and let's find out! Happy New Year, everyone!

What happens when you DON'T get accepted to #GoogleEI?

A long time ago, I promised to always write honestly on this blog. That means celebrating the successes, but also being real about the challenges. Two weeks ago, I was excited after applying to the #GoogleEI #LAX18 cohort! Earlier this week, I was disappointed to find out that I was not accepted.

The stages of disappointment

While everybody reacts & processes differently, here's what my past few days have looked like:

1. "Oh."

I wasn't in the best mood that day to begin with, so my initial reaction was basically, "Of course. Why would I expect anything different? It's just more of the same right now." Not something I'm proud of, but that really was my first thought.

2. Sharing

After I had a minute to collect my thoughts, I wanted to share the news. Rather, I didn't want to be asked 1,000 times - I would rather put it out there on my terms. First, I shared with my friends who helped me with my application, then I put it out to the Twitterverse. I wanted to truly congratulate those who got in, and I knew I was not the only person feeling disappointed, so I wanted to encourage those in the same boat as me. It took me a bit to craft a tweet to say what I wanted, but then I put it out there.

This also included liking & replying to many #PLN friends who did make it in, and especially those who didn't. It's so easy to feel like you are the only one, because more people share about their happy moments than their sad ones. I was motivated to break that lie down right away!

3. Thinking

If you know me, you know that I usually don't feel at peace with things until I've had some time to think & process. That happened after I went home for the evening. I hate failing, and I hate being rejected, and even though I know that's not the end of the story, I was definitely feeling both of those things. I appreciate my friends who tweeted, texted, messaged, & talked me through some of my feelings, reminded me that there are many more chances, and drove home the fact that this is not a reflection on who I am. Even though I knew some of these things, it was still helpful to hear them. I also appreciated the reminders that it was okay to feel bad, as long as I didn't stay there forever.

4. Growing & Improving

This is the one I am struggling with right now. I want to grow & improve, and I would never say that my application is perfect, but I felt good about what I put together. So now I'm feeling a bit stuck with knowing how to improve it. I like having a plan, and I don't have one right now! I know it's still pretty fresh, and I think that the best thing I can do right now is step away from my application for a bit and come back to it later with fresh eyes. In the meantime, I want to do what I hope to do every day, regardless of anything I'm applying for - learn and grow as an educator and as a person!

5. Schedule & Logistics

I include this in here, because I didn't realize how much I was planning my summer around keeping those dates in July open! I am a year-round employee, so I work through the summer, and that was going to be my mini-vacation that I took off. Now that it's not happening, I need to make sure to give myself a break somewhere, but the dates are more flexible. This is my next step...figuring out what my summer will look like with Plan B!

The Surprising Benefits

While I still wish I had gotten in, there are a couple of good things that have come out of this:

1. Community

Truly, my friends are amazing. The EDU community on Twitter is amazing. The amount of encouragement I have received is such a reminder that people care. In a world where the negative often gets amplified, I have heard nothing but positive messages. I have no doubt that these people are cheerleaders, encouragers, and a positive force in the lives of their students/colleagues/families as well, and that gives me such hope!

2. Inviting Others Onboard

I don't know if this would have happened either way, but I've heard from a couple of people that they are interested in applying for the next cohort, and there's something powerful about saying, "Yes! Let's go for it together!" It's been cool to see how even my "failures" have encouraged others to step out in their own journey.

What's next?

Well, as I said in my original post, I don't have any regrets about applying, even with this outcome. The application pushed me to think creatively and become a better educator. I'll keep learning and connecting. I will keep working to make education better for kids and for all of us. And I'm pretty sure I will be applying again in the future. Who wants to join me?