5 Things I've Learned About Tough Decisions

When my supervisor asked me how my week has been, I responded that "I've felt a little beat up this week. But I'm happy with how I'm handling it." Being an administrator is full of making tough decisions, and often, those decisions generate negative feedback. Sometimes, like this week, a bunch of circumstances all converge, and it feels like I am hearing negative feedback about many different decisions and aspects of my job all at once.

"So what? It's a part of the job," you might say. It's true, but the problem is that I can be an approval addict. I want everyone to like me, all of the time! I know it's not healthy or possible, but it doesn't stop me from feeling uncomfortable when somebody is unhappy with me. This year has yielded many, *ahm*, "opportunities" to practice getting over this tendency.

As our conversation continued, she asked me, "What's different, that makes you you feel like you are handling it well?" While I can't narrow it down to just one thing, here are five things I've learned about making tough decisions:

1. Root your decisions in data, and don't be afraid to share your thought process.

This has been one of the biggest things for me to fall back on in my conversations. I don't make decisions "just because". There is a method to the madness! And when it is rooted in data, whether qualitative or quantitative, it is easier to articulate in a way that makes sense. Transparency and building understanding go a long way in helping people move forward after tough decisions.

2. Respond. Don't put it off.

As I have heard from a wide variety of stakeholders about decisions that I have made and responded, some people have seemed genuinely surprised and grateful to get a response. It's so tempting for me to put off calling back after hearing a voicemail or responding to an unhappy email, but when I do, it actually starts the conversation off on a good note, because it shows that I genuinely value their feedback and am willing to have a conversation.

3. K.I.S.S.

Tough conversations can wander all over the place, which is okay, but in the end, I want to keep it simple. I need to be able to boil my decision down to a couple of simple talking points and keep returning to them. This takes me out of the space of having to respond to every emotion and accusation that comes up, and focuses on the core issue. I don't mean to say that you shouldn't listen and respond, or that you shouldn't be open to changing your mind...but make sure you are staying rooted in the real issue at hand, and not wandering into side issues as you go.

4. Proactive communication > reactive communication

As much as possible, proactive communication can help soften and set the stage when decisions need to be made. Nobody likes feeling caught off-guard! Sometimes it even helps to know that a decision is coming, so people can prepare themselves for it.

On a similar note, if you think that things might escalate, it never hurts to give your boss a heads-up that you anticipate some possible pushback. At that point, you can make sure you are on the same page and both feel comfortable with the decision, as well as your response.

5. Trust yourself, but be open to others.

Ultimately, no matter how others feel about it, some decisions are mine to make. I have to be confident enough in myself to know that I am doing the best I can with what I have, and that is enough. Sometimes I'll make mistakes, and that is okay too. This is where being open to others comes in. Prior to making a tough decision, soliciting feedback can keep you from missing certain angles and perspectives. After a decision has been made, if somebody points out something you haven't thought of, be open to that. Weigh it against your reasoning, and see if it changes your thought process. Don't be afraid to take more time to think about it if necessary. But in the end, if the decision is yours to make, the person you have to convince is yourself. Trust your instincts.

We all have decisions to make every day. What have you learned about making tough decisions? Share your tips and thoughts below!

The Messages We Send

Leadership can be about what we say, but it is also about the culture we create through our actions. Think about the people who are leaders in your school or work setting. What do they do (or not do) that cultivates the culture of your group?

In my new leadership role, I've been thinking a lot about the messages my actions send.

I might be working on Saturday morning at 6am, but do I expect others to?

I really got this tip from a principal - when employees receive emails from their boss all evening or weekend, it puts out a subtle message or expectation that they should be working at all times. That is certainly not what I want to communicate! One of my peers said that she often starts an email with, "We all have different work habits, and this is my best time to get work done, but I don't expect you to be working at this time..." My favorite solution is Boomerang - I can write the emails whenever I want, and schedule them to send at a more reasonable hour :-).

As the one with the "title", it's up to me to set others at ease.

I was having a conversation with a first-year teacher, and they asked, "Can I call you Aubrey?" It didn't even occur to me that my teachers - who are adults - would wonder if it is okay to be on a first-name basis, yet I remember having similar thoughts when I began my career! This made me realize that people are looking to take their cues from me - I can actually make interactions more comfortable by introducing myself first, asking them to sit at this table, and just setting the tone so others aren't worried about things like, "Does it matter which side of the table I sit on?"

When a weekend event ends, do I stay to help clean up or leave?

Cleaning up isn't in my job description, and it's not exactly an expectation. But what does it communicate if I let others do the dirty work while I go enjoy my weekend? This is servant leadership at its finest - and if I want to be a servant leader, I need to show it.

If I see a teacher doing something awesome, do I share it?

One of the great things about my role is that I have a bigger megaphone. I can amplify others' voices and work. But if I never share the great work that happens, it doesn't matter how big my megaphone is - it still won't get out there! I have been trying to take the time to pause my busy day and snap/tweet that picture or write that email to a principal or other district leaders (whoever makes sense) about the amazing things our teachers & students are doing! It's not always easy...this is never an urgent task, and it can often go to the back burner...but we don't do enough celebrating or positive sharing in education.

Email.

Okay, this is a sore subject for many people, because it is just so hard to keep up! I attended a session about team-building with many people from our district office (who work in operations), and the thing that I kept hearing about building trust & teams was that people wanted follow-up, and quickly. They mentioned how much more they trusted someone who responded to emails right away as opposed to someone who took a few days to get a response from. Now, I would never advocate for being on your email all of the time, but this was eye-opening to me and actually made me prioritize emails a little higher on my to-do list. If that's a big factor in my coworkers' feeling like they are on a strong team, how could I not prioritize it?

I'm sure there are a million more ways our actions speak louder than words, but these are a few situations I have encountered in my first two weeks! Do you have any tips about what you wish leaders would or wouldn't do? Leave them in the comments!

The Other Side of the Table

This week, I was "that parent".

Okay, not truly a parent, but I was there with the family of one of the kiddos I help with (his family doesn't speak much English, so I often help in a parental role with the school stuff).

I was the one in the principal's office, called in because of his behavior. We needed to have a conference RIGHT AWAY, because he was on the verge of losing the chance to go on the end-of-year, overnight field trip due to his defiance in class. On one side of me was his teacher, his assistant principal, and the school counselor. On the other side sat his cousin, his aunt, and him.

I've been in these meetings before, but mostly in my role as a teacher. Or a principal. It is different being on the opposite side.

I have to say that the school did a great job of facilitating the discussion. They were supportive, but clear about what is and is not acceptable. They did a nice job of bringing data & specific instances to the table to guide our conversation. They helped form a plan going forward that included positive supports and ways to ask for help before things escalated.

I still walked away with a heavy heart.

It is sad to see a kid struggling. It is hard to see how his behavior is affecting others, and ultimately, himself. It's heartbreaking to see him open up about where the pain is coming from, a big reason why he is acting out, and be able to do so little about it. I felt helpless. And I felt bad that "my" kid was one of the ones that probably kept the teacher up at night.

This made me reflect on previous meetings I have had with parents, when I was the teacher at the table. Did parents leave feeling judged? Like it was their fault? Upset with their student? Upset with the school? Feeling like partners in education? Feeling like they were told what to do? Feeling supported? Feeling grateful for the help?

All of these things flashed through my mind, at least momentarily.

While these meetings are never fun, what helped me stay positive in this moment was a prior relationship with the school staff. I knew them, and I trusted them. I trusted that they wanted what was best for this student, and the whole class. I trusted that they wanted to help in any way that they could.

It is so important for us, as educators, to be building positive relationships with families. If the only time they ever get a phone call or see the inside of the school is for something negative, it is hard to feel like true partners in education. I know it's not easy. I know that not everyone responds right away. But we can't stop reaching out. We can't stop being creative in how we connect with families. Often, those who are the hardest to connect with need it the most.

How are you building positive relationships with families at your school?

Leadership

What kind of leader do I want to be?

This week, I have had plenty of opportunities to consider what it means to lead. From a sermon at church to attending interviews for our next superintendent, this question has been on strongly on my mind. As I pondered it, some quotes came to mind:

"Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, watching over them—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not pursuing dishonest gain, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." ~1 Peter 5:2-3, NIV Bible
Whether or not you agree with the spiritual background of this verse, it is written to leaders of a church, and has some great points to make about leadership in general. Do not lead simply out of a sense of obligation - but out of joy! Don't lead just because of what you can gain, but because of how you can benefit those around you. And do not parade your authority, but model and lead by example. This is what I strive for.

"A servant leader works tirelessly to develop his or her people and is focused on what they can do for others." ~Cheryl Williamson
Similarly, this quote speaks of sacrificing yourself (your time, your energy, your needs) and focusing on the people around you, then widening the circle. Danger: We can't ignore our own needs completely, but if that is the only thing we are focusing on, we are not being good leaders.

"The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity. Without it, no real success is possible, no matter whether it is on a section gang, a football field, in an army, or in an office." ~Dwight D. Eisenhower
This connects back to my #oneword2018 of integrity, and really focuses on character. If I can trust my leaders, if I believe they will always strive to do the right thing, I am more likely to follow them. If I have reason to question their integrity, I will always follow with caution. I want to be a leader who is trustworthy.

We are all leaders, in some form or another. As students, teachers, administrators, or support staff, we have influence over many others every day. So the question returns:

What kind of leader do YOU want to be?

One Last Hurdle

25 months ago, I applied for my educational leadership program.

21 months ago, I started classes for my Master's degree.

14 months ago, I applied to be a summer learning team lead (basically a summer learning principal).

13 months ago, I began my summer learning job in a position of actual leadership.

8 months ago, kids started in summer learning, and I got a taste of what being a principal is really like!

2 months ago, I finished my last class and officially graduated with a degree in Educational Leadership.

6 days ago, I completed my final hurdle to getting my Principal's License - passing the PRAXIS test!

As I finished the test, I progressed to the screen that said something like:

Do you want to submit your answers or cancel your scores?

My heart was pounding, my breathing shallow, and I started wondering: 

Was I good enough? Did I have what it takes? Was I crazy to even be trying this? What if I mess it all up? What made me think this was a good idea? 

At every point along this journey, I have had moments of struggling with those same questions, this familiar cycle of self-doubt. What's more, I know that I am not the only one who asks these questions - I believe we all do, children and adults alike. Why is it so easy for us to be hard on ourselves?

With a deep breath, I made my choice, and pressed Submit. Thinking that my mental torture was over, my anxiety was heightened when I came to another screen:

You have chosen to submit your scores. Are you sure?

In every journey, there are times of standing up and stepping out in faith. Sometimes these moments are big and momentous, but at other times, they consist of simply putting one foot in front of the other. Whether big or small, these moments take courage. And sometimes, the courage it takes is only known to the one who is in the moment. It may not look like much to the outside world, but that does not mean that it feels easy on the inside.

As soon as I clicked Yes, submit my scores, my unofficial score popped up - well into the passing range. I smiled through my still shaking hand and pounding heart and thought:

And I considered, even if only ever so briefly, not submitting my scores! Why do I worry so much?

Are our students going through these internal battles? Which moment are they at when they come into our rooms - the one there they are thinking, "Am I good enough?" The moment of decision, when they have to take a leap of faith? The moment of victory? How can we, as teachers, meet them where they are at and reassure their doubts, encourage their risk-taking, and celebrate their wins? Of course, there are many ways to think about where our students are at - academically, socially, and in life - but this experience added a new layer to my thinking about how to help my students take the next step.

After all, the best teachers are always learning, right?

Confessions of a New Administrator: 6 Takeaways from 6 Weeks of Administration

Summer Learning has come and gone, and I'm left reflecting on the experience. It is so hard to come up with an answer when people ask me, "How was being a summer school principal?" I struggle to consolidate the thousands of moments into a neat, tidy answer! So here's my best attempt: 6 takeaways from 6 weeks as a summer school admin.

1. Communication is key!

If there's one thing I got practice in this summer, it was communicating. With kids, with parents, with teachers, and with district personnel! Clear communication was essential to proactively avoid issues and make sure we were all on the same page, plus it helped cut down on fears of rumors or hidden agendas or any of that negativity that can eat away at school culture. One thing I resolved at the beginning of the summer was to keep my staff in the know, and from comments I heard, I think (hope!) I did a fairly good job of that.

Communication also included having to be the messenger for things I did not agree with. Newsflash: this is hard. It's hard to be honest when sharing an unpopular message while not throwing others under the bus. Through being open in the rest of my communication, though, I hope I was able to share these things in an authentic yet respectful way.

2. Prioritizing is life-saving!

On the first day, I'm pretty sure I had a deer-in-the-headlights look all day long as everything was coming at me. I didn't have filters to sift through it all and everything screamed, "URGENT! TOP PRIORITY!" No one can run at that level of stress and anxiety forever - we have to learn to prioritize!

If I were to characterize the biggest change in my practice from the beginning to the end of Summer Learning, I would say that I did a much better job of figuring out what really needed my attention right away and what could wait for a few hours or a few days. I thought a lot about what was urgent vs. what was important and how to make time for the important things that may not be so urgent. I also grew more comfortable with the fact that while one person might think something is hugely important and urgent, my role as the principal was to hold all of the needs in balance, and sometimes that one thing had to wait.

3. Fight to spend time with the kids!

Why did most of us become teachers? Because we love kids! And that certainly didn't change as I became a principal! It was easy to get caught up in the to-dos needed to make things run smoothly and completely miss out on the moments with students. I had to make it a daily priority (see #2) to get out of the office and spend time in classrooms or meeting kids on their way in or out. It was worth it!

Sometimes it was challenging to feel like this was the best use of my time. That might sound crazy, but if I was in a classroom where a teacher was rocking it and had everything under control, it was easy to think, "What am I doing here? Why do they need me?" The truth is, they didn't need me...but I needed the reality check of what was going on in the classroom, and the kids (and teachers?) really did appreciate seeing a principal who was involved in their learning. They can never have too many positive adult examples around!

4. Conflict is a reality, and that's okay.

Let me be honest for a second here - I don't like conflict. It's hard, it's messy, and I'd rather avoid it. But it's a daily reality in our jobs, and even more so in a position of leadership. There are so many people I was working with, and all of them had different perspectives on any given issue about the school! And most of the time, those perspectives were born out of a really good place of wanting the very best for the students and the school! There are just many views on how to get there.

As the principal, I had to be willing to stand up and make decisions that I knew would disappoint some people. I was the one who talked to parents when they were upset. I got to defend my teachers (it's amazing how much easier it is to step into conflict when you feel responsible and protective of your people). I'm certainly not advocating for creating unnecessary conflict, but I grew much more comfortable in handling things when they came, not taking it personally, and focusing on the issue and the solution rather than getting stuck in the problem.

5. Structures make the world school go 'round.

One of the hardest parts of being a principal is that so much of my job was proactive. When things were going well, it was evidenced by, well, a lack of problems. Usually, that meant that good structures had been developed and set in place so that things just ran themselves! Often, I didn't even notice that the routine was working or that it was making a difference, because it "just happened".

Most mornings, I went out and played violin for the kids as they walked into school, and often, they came in and glanced at me and went straight to breakfast. One morning, I had a lot of paperwork to do and thought, "Oh well, they're hearing the same songs every day anyway, they probably won't even notice if I skip it today." Boy, was I wrong - I heard about it that day! This is a frivolous example, but it struck me because it demonstrated how much the simple routines meant to the kids, even if they didn't show it.

When good systems were set up, people did what they were supposed to, and everything ran smoothly. When a kink in the system appeared, it quickly devolved into chaos! Systems thinking is a skill I need to continue to cultivate, and I saw the importance of it and the impact it can have on large numbers of people this summer.

6. Get comfortable with living with ambiguity!

One of the most immediate differences I noticed, moving from a teaching job to an administrative job, was that I couldn't plan my day. As a teacher, I figured out lesson plans and I had the structure (see #5) of class periods, lunches, and recesses to guide my day. As a principal, all of that was thrown out the window! Although a lot of my thought-work was proactively planning, my day-to-day was reacting to whatever went on! I never knew if it would be an easy day or a hard day - it just depended on what happened. This was quite a shift in thinking!

I also had to get more comfortable with ambiguity in general. So many situations came up that did not have black and white answers! I had to live in the tension of the "where we are aiming" and the "where we are now". I had to balance the needs of different teachers and different students and various subgroups of each, none of which was clear-cut. I also had to be comfortable letting go and letting people find their own way - some more quickly than others. Although it was tricky at times, this was the beauty of leading and learning - the messy, trial-and-error process that results in growth.

Disclaimer: If I were to add #7, it would be that a positive attitude works wonders, especially in a leadership position, because it affects everyone you meet...but that wasn't so much a new learning as something I was able to keep up from my teaching 😃. Find joy in every day!

I am so grateful for this opportunity, and I know these lessons learned will follow me wherever I go, including in my new role in the district. What would you add to this list as top takeaways from beginning in administration?

Confessions of a New Administrator: Week #5

This week has been the smoothest yet, and full of #eduwins! I'll share a handful of them below:

1. We had constructed a safety plan for a student to help him regulate & stay safe in school. He had a couple of days without any issues, but the real victory came when we had to put the safety plan in place and it worked like a charm!
2. A different student was having a very rough morning, and I was called to the classroom to help support her. After encouraging her that just because a mistake happened in the morning, it didn't mean the whole day had to be bad, she begrudgingly made it back to the group. Later in the day, she was in the office, beaming and turning in a LEARN ticket (our PBIS system)!
3. Another student has spent quite a bit of time in the office and also suspended due to his behavior earlier in the summer, but I haven't seen him this week. I pulled him aside to check in with him, and some of his comments included:
   "School is more fun when I am good."
   "My friend told me, it's like you're a different person, you're nice and more fun to be around."
   "My friend [who he often got into trouble with] and I talked, and we decided that we're going to keep being good next school year."
   
   (I know it's not necessarily that easy, but it was encouraging to hear him realize the benefits of his improved behavior!)
4. Yet another student has had a number of behavioral issues this summer, and I haven't quite been able to figure out the function of her behavior or how to reach her.  She has a contract about being able to go on field trips based on her behavior, and unfortunately, she missed the last one.  She had a great week and was so close to earning her field trip, but once again, I got a call asking for support because she was being defiant. I decided to try something new and actually give her what she wanted (a break from everyone) if she asked appropriately.  After a bit of time, she followed the teacher direction to take at least one step into the room, ask politely for a break, and wait for the teacher's answer before taking her break. That was the first step, but the next question was if she would actually come back to the group after the 5-minute timer went off.  I swung back by the classroom just as it beeped, and...she did it! Yes! She kept her field trip :-).
5. One of the parts of my role that is new to me is doing teacher evaluations. It has been so much fun talking with teachers and hearing about their perspective on the summer. I was especially encouraged by one who shared that she feels like she has grown professionally this summer, especially in being willing to give up control in the classroom and let the kids figure things out themselves. Yes! Even if nothing else happened this summer, I think that moving people along that spectrum from being more teacher-led to student-led would be worth it!

Of course, it wasn't a perfect week. I still had kids get into fights and one teacher walk by a [hidden] wasp's nest and get stung 17 times (she's okay, though). Nevertheless, I've really been able to see the gratification that comes through those times where you feel like you've really reached someone! These are the moments that keep you going through tough times, and I am so grateful for how many we had this week!

Confessions of a New Administrator: Week #3

This summer, I am getting my first hands-on experience at being a building administrator for my site of about 300 1st-5th graders.  I know that summer school is different than the regular school year, but much of the "blitz" I am feeling reminds me of being a first year teacher (and what I expect being a first year administrator may feel like).  One of my personal commitments in blogging is to be honest, open, and transparent (while protecting privacy) about my experiences - and I'm sure that, someday, I will smile looking back at what I was feeling at this time.  Hopefully it can help someone else learn, too!

After Week #3, I am looking around and realizing that this new role I have is starting to feel...almost normal?  How can that be?  I don't think my days are any less hectic, but I am learning to adapt to my new role!  Even after just a few weeks, here are some of the changes I am noticing in myself:

• I am much more comfortable switching gears - instantly!
  I may peacefully be doing paperwork in the office, in my "organizing" mode, and have an unhappy parent walk in, necessitating a switch into "mediator" mode.  Or I may be working with a student who was sent to the office, in "discipline/support" mode, and hear a call on the radio that a student ran off, forcing a momentary change into "searching" mode.  I may be enjoying a lesson in the classroom, going into my more comfortable "teaching" mode, and then have a visitor show up and transition into "outreach" mode.  I've learned not to get too attached to what I'm doing at any one time, and to be ready for something drastically different in the next moment!
• I am much more comfortable NOT knowing.
  Wait, the principal's supposed to have all of the answers, right?  Wrong.  Often, I come into a situation in the middle of the story and I have to jump in and proceed without knowing all of the background.  This happens with students, parents, and staff.  I tend to be a person who likes to gather the details and then make a plan, but that is just not feasible in many situations.  I'm learning to move forward with confidence, even without knowing exactly what is happening all of the time.
• I am much more willing to trust my gut.
  With so many different situations coming my way, how do I decide how to handle them all?  If situations are easy, my teachers handle them on their own...by the time they get to me, they have usually escalated.  Related to the NOT knowing, I usually haven't seen these kids through the whole day to determine their triggers or really understand why they are behaving in a certain way, but I still have to do something about it.  I have really been trusting my gut instincts about what supports might help these kids, and more often than not, it has worked out well!  This goes beyond discipline, too...especially in a 5 or 6 week program, I don't have the time to develop long-term relationships (at least for now).  In all of my interactions with students and adults, I am really trusting my gut to tell me what is needed in each situation!
• I am getting better about not living in fear.
  I know this is an ongoing lesson for me - it is so easy for insecurities and fear to rise up and dominate my day.  Being in a position where I am expected to step up and move past that has forced me to really step up and move past that!  When a parent comes storming into the office, upset, it bothers me less than it used to - I can take a deep breath, smile, greet that parent, and trust that we can work toward resolution (or at least a place were we can be civil with each other)!  When someone makes a suggestion, rather than immediately wondering if they think I'm doing a bad job, I can smile, thank them for the suggestion, and appreciate that we are all trying to make this school the best that it can be.  When I have to make a hard decision, rather than wallowing back and forth and worrying about the consequences, I can take a minute to think about it, look at the facts, and then decide and move on.  I'm not perfect at this, but I have really noticed that these interactions do not stick with me in the way they used to - I spend less time worrying about the future and more time focusing on the present! 

I love being an administrator and watching the magic that happens in the school environment - support staff being incredibly efficient and flexible, teachers bringing out the best in their students, students being so excited about learning.  But another cool part of this journey has been for me to take a moment and reflect on how it has changed me.  Sometimes it feels like we give so much to our work and relationships, and it's good to remember that they give back too!

Adventures in Leadership: Standing in the Gap

This post is written in honor of my 8th graders, who completed their National History Day projects on the theme “Taking a Stand in History”.  Somehow, this morphed into an ongoing joke in our orchestra room, and whenever students grab a music stand, they remind each other to “take a stand”!  Ah, the humor of middle schoolers...

As a leader, you are often faced with a choice of whether to step up and take charge of a situation or stay back and see what happens.  Some leaders like to be up front and be in charge.  There is nothing inherently wrong with this, but it has the potential to limit the rest of the team by not giving them the opportunity to make mistakes and learn themselves.  Other times, leaders can be timid, and shy away from confronting tough situations.  This can leave teams floundering, as they are left to fend for themselves in an unhealthy way.  Several years ago, I was given the advice to filter my desire to step up as a leader through the lens of if it would cost me something personally.  If so, go for it, and be prepared to be the “sacrificial lamb” for whatever might come as a result!  If it doesn’t cost anything, then think hard about why you are wanting to jump up front - is it for your ego, or is it really best for everyone?

While this is a very simplified view of leadership, this advice has come back to me over and over as I continue my journey in educational leadership.  

Leaders have to make decisions...and then deal with the effects!  Whether it is in the form of pushback, relational stress, or simply investing time and energy to make something happen, this is often a sacrifice!  Yet there is beauty in the sacrifice as well.  By standing in the gap, leaders have the opportunity to protect their teams from the full brunt of whatever happens.  They can snuff out the little (and big!) problems before those problems ever get to the point where they affect the rest of the team.  They are giving some of themselves for the sake of others.  And that is a task worth pursuing!

Standing in the gap can be difficult, though.  It takes a lot of resolve, conviction, and energy.  It can be lonely.  Your sacrifice may not even be seen or known by those you are working for!  Often, it would be easier to stay silent.  It would be easier to hope it all works out...or let somebody else step up and deal with all of the backlash.

But there is peace in knowing that you are standing up for what is right and doing what you can.

Today, I had the opportunity to stand in the gap for some of my students.  It wasn’t the world’s biggest issue, but there was a moment in which I knew I had to make a decision, and that it would cost me.  And while it has certainly added stress to my day, I am also encouraged.

...I’m encouraged that others are being empowered to advocate for their students, too!

...I’m encouraged that there is movement on some of the issues, and they are already being fixed!

...I’m encouraged that the backlash hasn’t been nearly as bad as I worried it could be - proof that our minds often go to worst fears which can be unfounded and unreasonable (so STOP worrying so much)!

...I’m encouraged that I actually had the courage to do this.  I don’t think I would have a year, or even six months ago.  But with my #oneword2017 being LEAD, I have become more and more comfortable with different facets of leadership.

These encouragements keep me going when I am dealing with a barrage of emails, phone calls, and tricky conversations.  More opportunities will undoubtedly come, and I hope I will continue to grow in wisdom to know the right times to step up and when to step back, courage to stand up when necessary, and joy to keep smiling through it all!

21st Century Cohort 4.0 (#BVSD21cc)

Earlier this year, I applied for and was accepted to join an amazing group of educators - the BVSD 21st Century Cohort.  I am excited for what the next three years will bring for our group!  Even though we have just begun our journey, there are certain aspects of this professional development that have stood out to me so far:

• Toolkit - one of the most exciting things, initially, is that we each were able to choose a toolkit from a catalog of different tech tools (Chromebooks, iPads, robots, cameras, etc).  These tools are ours to use as we see fit throughout our time in the Cohort and beyond (if we stay in the district).  As fun as it is to get new tools, the more meaningful thing is the support it shows for our growth and development.  Having resources to enable us to implement some of our techy dreams is amazing!
• Freedom to play and explore - our catalog of tools had several things that I had never played with before.  Building time into our professional development days to explore and play with the different options was crucial in making decisions about what would be the most helpful in my classroom!  After we received the tools, we were given more time to play, share, and see what we could come up with through an EdCamp-style PD complete with playgrounds for all of our new "toys".

  "It's a robot party!" Thanks Beth #BVSD21cc Exploring Dash&Dot and Ollie w/ @Ms_A_Yeh @mdeckstein @MsKellyAnderson pic.twitter.com/QGI6zGQVlN

  — BVSD EdTech (@BVSDEdTech) February 16, 2017

• Attitude of a Learner - in our cohort, we are told over and over again that we are not supposed to have everything figured out or be experts right away.  This takes so much pressure off!  Especially in this first year, our goal is to learn, to grow, and to push ourselves.  Many of the assignments we get are designed to introduce us to new tools (or increase our familiarity with old ones) by asking us to create something, much as our students might in the classroom.  Our leaders have done a great job modeling the attitude of a learner, as well, by trying new things right alongside us!
• Time - this is a big one.  As teachers, we never feel like we have enough time.  Trying a new program or incorporating a new tech tool sounds awesome, but it takes time to plan!  And with conferences, grades being due, and other looming deadlines, it is hard to make the time to do that.  I have really appreciated that at each of our PD sessions, time is built in to explore new ideas, but also do decompress and synthesize what we have just learned.  This helps me get even more out of it than if the day was jam-packed with new information, because I have a minute to process what this could mean for me and my class, making it much more likely for me to implement it in the future!
• Relationships - I was talking with a friend who was a part of Cohort 2.0, and she talked so much about the relationships that she developed as a part of the cohort.  After the first day, I wasn't quite feeling that yet, but the more we get into this, the more I see a bond starting to grow.  Being with a group of people who are not afraid to try new things, imagine different ideas, and share our experiences & knowledge is invigorating!  Sometimes, in education, innovative ideas garner resistance from people who are happy with the way things have always been.  Both the in-person PD and the connections on Twitter & social media have been encouraging simply because I'm around other people who share a similar vision of extending our classrooms beyond where they currently are.  I know this will continue as we begin mentor groups and have more opportunities to collaborate and share our learning!

All of this has been so great for me as a teacher, but it has also been helpful as I prepare for a future in educational leadership.  Thinking about what aspects of the PD have been most meaningful to me gives me insight into what I might design in the future as PD for my staff.  The learning never ends!

I am so thankful to be a part of Cohort 4.0, and can't wait to see where the next three years take us!

Reflections and #OneWord 2017

Welcome 2017!  I have never really been one for New Year resolutions, and although the #OneWord idea intrigued me, nothing really stuck out at me and I figured I'd just sit this one out.  After I'd made that decision, though, a word kept sneaking up on me...

But first, some reflection...

I know, I'm holding you in suspense!  This word is really grown out of my previous year, and I think it's important to take the time to look back and reflect on where I have been.  At this time last year, I was so stressed out.  Certain things about the way my district & school were heading did not line up with what I believe educationally, and I felt like I was in a constant fight to protect what I believe is best for kids.  That wore me down, and despite my attempts to stay positive and enthusiastic, I felt like I was heading into the lion's den each day.

The year went on, and things started to get better.  Certain ideas in my district began turning around, and I caught a breath of fresh air.  I got accepted to my principal preparation program, which started this summer.  I also joined Twitter and got involved in several amazing communities of educators!  It was exactly the rejuvenation I needed, and this fall was one of the best semesters of my teaching career!

And now, my #OneWord...

I have always loved teaching, loved connecting, and loved learning from other people, but tend to stay in the background and play a supporting role.  Starting this blog was a big step for me - putting my thoughts out there, without knowing who might read them?  I've grown more confident in my ability to share, although it is still not the easiest thing for me.  This next year, for 2017, my #OneWord is:

LEAD

In so many ways, I have been stepping into more and more leadership roles, and while it's scary, I am determined to try to lead well!

• I want to lead out in loving those around me - kids and adults!
• I want to be a lead encourager and recognize when I see others doing great things.
• I want to lead by asking the tough questions and being brave enough to challenge assumptions when needed.
• I want to lead in the way that I spend my time at school AND my time at home (balance)!
• I want to lead in the way I spend time in prayer, in peace, and in quiet to keep me centered as I go about my days.
• I want to grow more confident in the way I lead when talking to adults, through presentations, PD, and other opportunities.
• I want to lead a life worth following.  Not because I'm perfect or because everyone has to be like me, but because people watch what you say and what you do, and I want my life to be consistent with my message.

Leader.  In many ways, it's out of my comfort zone, and it makes me nervous to put this out there because I know that means accountability!  But I also know that this is what I am being called to, and it will be worth it!  Thank you, everyone who has encouraged me to step up and step out - I'm excited to see what this year brings!

Goals for 2016-2017

It's that time of year again.  Where my head is spinning, my to-do list is a mile long, and I can't focus on one thing for more than a few moments at a time, and I have trouble sleeping because of all of my nervous excitement and anticipation.  Yep, it's the beginning of the year!

I actually love the beginning of a new school year.  New students, new ideas, a fresh start, and the chance to dream and re-envision your classroom.  I get so excited about all of the opportunities, it's hard to settle on just one or two!  But, to help guide my thinking (and increase accountability), I'm going to post my four main goals for the school year here.

1. Gamify My Class!  I have been working hard over the summer, with lots of great input and guidance from the #XPLAP crew, to design a year-long game for my middle level orchestra classes.  They will be entering Ms. Yeh's Jedi Strings Academy, fighting against the dark side of poor musicianship, and trying to become Grand Masters of the Jedi Order.  In order to do this, they will perform different musical tasks (playing tests, theory/culture/history research, teamwork in class, and some BreakoutEDU games I have developed) to grow in their skills, earn Galactic Credits (with which they can purchase things like "forgotten instrument passes"), and generally defeat the dark side!  I have a lot of structures worked out, and I am SUPER excited about how engaging this will be for the kids!  That being said, my goal is to actually implement it faithfully.  I've had a lot of great ideas over the years that have gotten lost in the wind, and the daily grind of rehearsals, fixing instruments, traveling from school to school, etc.  I want to actually follow through on this one!

2. Genius Hour, aka "Force Projects"!  In going with our Star Wars theme, our genius hour projects will be called "Force Projects".  This will be a chance for students to explore, create, and direct their own learning about any topic related to music!  I have a couple of friends who are taking this on with me, and am excited to learn and grow together.  I'm still wrapping my head around exactly how to present and facilitate this, but right now, I'm thinking that we will have "Force Day" every Wednesday (we have a late start & short classes on Wednesday, so it's a good time to do something different).  For the first month or so, I want to focus on getting the kids to dream, think outside the box, brainstorm about possible topics, and find places where they can learn more.  Then, I will probably set them free in using the time in whatever way they feel is best!  I love the idea of blogging their adventures, but I'm still working with my administrators to determine a safe platform for doing this.  I also love the idea of them reaching out to mentors to aid them in the process.  Some of the teaching about how to blog & how to find a mentor will be built into our first month of brainstorming and thinking creatively.  My biggest goal for our Force Projects is to encourage students to take charge of their own learning, and to step back and let them run with it.  If you have any experience with Genius Hour, I would love to hear your top piece of advice!

3. Learn How to be a Principal!  Okay, that sounds like a lofty goal, but I am working on my Principal's License right now, and it has been a grand adventure!  If I've learned anything so far, I've learned that it is a fast-paced, unpredictable job.  I have really enjoyed the time I have spent hanging out with the administration team at my school, and can't wait to learn more!  My confidence in being a leader at school has really grown, which is great, but it also means I am saying "yes" to more leadership opportunities.  This past week, I have been heavy on principal "stuff", so I haven't had as much time to focus on my classroom.  My goal is do figure out a good balance of working with the administration team at my school to gain experience through my internship, but still keep my main focus on my classroom and my kids.

4. Balance!  Last spring, I felt like I was in a really good place with home/school balance - I didn't bring much work home (although I do consistently lesson plan on the weekends), I kept up a great routine of going swimming before school 3x/week, and I felt like I had time to relax, hang out with friends, and serve in some cool ways at church.  This year, I'm adding a Master's program & principal internship to the mix.  Even though I know it will make me busier, my goal is to still make time for the important things of ME time, friend time, and exercise to maintain a good balance in my life!

Throughout the year, I will update on here about how my goals are going.  What are your goals for this school year?  How are you going to make it awesome for your students?

Confidence - Try It!

As the summer winds down and the school year starts up, I am feeling so energized for teaching this year!  I feel like I am in a much different place than when the summer began, and that's a good thing!  But I was having trouble putting my finger on what feels so different.  Finally, I was reading Kids Deserve It!, and this quote hit me hard.

"When you are an educator, you have brilliant ideas.  And when you are not sharing your brilliant ideas, you are doing a disservice to others..."

Wow.  How convicting!  In the past, I have loved coming up with new ideas, but been too scared to share them.  I think, "If this was really a good idea, somebody would have tried it before," or "I like this, but will anybody else?" or "I'd better just play it safe, so I don't end up looking stupid."  You'd think that at some point I would get past my fears and worries...who wants to live in a box of "what other people think of you" all of the time?  But it took a little push.

Growing My PLN
After lurking around for a bit, I finally joined Twitter & Voxer, and wow, the idea sharing and encouragement is amazing!  I have learned so much, and more importantly, been encouraged to branch out and try new things.  In the past, I would have an idea, and maybe talk about it with a colleague, but then lose confidence and stop shy of actually implementing it in my classroom.  Being out there in the EDU world, surrounded (virtually) by people who are encouraging others to step out, push boundaries, take risks, and celebrate learning has been amazing!  It's allowed me to nervously contribute my ideas, and get positive feedback - which makes me realize that maybe I do have something to contribute, and continues the cycle of learning, growing, and improving.  It has truly transformed my professional life (and it's only been two months).

Principal's License
So, among all of my other pursuits, I am working on my principal's license right now.  It's been a really interesting process as I not only learn the knowledge about what it takes to be an administrator, but also change my view of myself.  Teachers, do you remember when you first started doing field experiences, or started student teaching?  It's a complete paradigm shift to think, "Whoa, I'm back in the classroom, but I'm the adult here, not a student!"  You have to reform your identity a bit to match your new role.

I have gone through that this summer in the transformation from a teacher to a principal.  In May, when people would ask me about it, I almost felt apologetic - "Yes, I am studying this, but I don't really know if I want to be a principal, I'm happy in the classroom right now, maybe someday a looooooooong way off."  I wasn't ready to view myself as a "future administrator" yet.  Between the projects I've been working on this summer and just having time to get used to the idea, I feel myself slipping more into a leadership role and being more comfortable there!  I still don't know what's in my future, as I love teaching orchestra and have no plans to leave anytime soon...but I also can see myself as a leader now.  That's more than I could say two months ago.

Confidence
If I were to choose one word to describe my growth this summer, it would be confidence.  Sharing my thoughts online with people who are striving to do great things in education has given me confidence that these crazy ideas actually can be implemented and help kids learn!  Interning with my principal and taking part in some leadership decisions has given me confidence that I can be a leader in my building, whether it is as an administrator or an informal leader in my current position.  And working on so many creative pursuits (designing how I will gamify my classroom, designing digital BreakoutEDUs, and working on some website/media projects for my principal's license) has inspired me to keep learning, keep reaching, and keep pushing to teach in new ways.

Confidence.  It makes us better teachers and better learners.  If you are unsure about a new idea, try it!  Share it!  Find people who will encourage you to follow that train of thought!  Don't shy away because you are too scared to try.  If your experience is anything like mine, people will appreciate that you are trying something different, and the cycle of innovation-feedback-refining-growing will continue.  Sounds a lot like learning, doesn't it?


***To those of you who are a part of my PLN, thank you!  You have influenced my life and helped me grow!  I wish I could mention all of you here, but that would get too crazy - suffice it to say that you are all amazing educators and I appreciate you!***