Leadership Is...

Leadership is...sending emails to retiring teachers to thank them for their years of service - because they deserve it!

Leadership is...recognizing when you need to practice self-care and taking a break to go on a walk with a coworker/friend.

Leadership is...not worrying about the exact time a meeting should start but giving a hug because that's what is needed most.

Leadership is...sending emails out with decisions, some popular and some unpopular, and trying to tame the anxiety that comes with knowing the responses are coming!

Leadership is...going to a workout after sending said emails out because then you can't stare at the screen, waiting (and also because you ate two cookies after sending those emails out...some coping mechanisms are healthier than others)!

Leadership is...waking up at 5am on Saturday and remembering something you were supposed to do ten days ago and doing it.

Leadership is...listening not only to the words someone is saying, but the heart behind it.

Leadership is...admitting that things are hard, but not dwelling on it.

Leadership is...learning to accept compliments and let people in to help.

Leadership is a lot of things, but above all, it is being human. We sometimes talk about the fact that teachers don't teach content, teachers teach kids. I could extrapolate that to say that admin or leaders don't lead initiatives, they lead people. And, just as importantly, they ARE people. Especially in the world today, couldn't we all use a little more human-ness in our lives?

#oneword2022 & 🔥 Fires 🔥 in My Community

Last year, my #oneword was ATTENTIVE. I went into the year aspiring to be attentive to myself and the world around me, and to be present. And was I? In some ways, yes. Compared to a couple of years ago, I see huge differences in the way I make time to process and validate my own thoughts and feelings, and I definitely have continued to engage in societal issues and find my voice. But would I say this word defined my year? Not really - I think it got buried through everything going on!

As I thought about 2022, I wondered if I should even choose a word this year. To be honest, I'm ending 2021 on a bit of a low. It's been a hard year on so many levels, and just before the new year, fires ripped through my community, destroying nearly 1000 homes and damaging over 100 more. These are friends, teachers, students, administrators in my district - and the thought of how to move forward is daunting. It felt like we (collectively) were already trying to pour from an empty cup by the end of the semester; how are we going to add even more trauma and need?

Yet I am still drawn back here to my blog, and the word that pops out is one I had several years ago: LEAD. The first time I chose the word LEAD, it was almost prophetic. I was heading into my first time being in major leadership roles, from being a principal of summer school to moving to the district office from being a classroom teacher. I learned so much as a new leader that year.

This time, I'm coming at it with a little more experience and a lot of thoughts about different styles or characteristics of leadership I have seen through the past several years. I've spent a lot of time reflecting on my own leadership, both the leader I am and the leader I want to be. I don't have a nice sketchnote, and my thoughts are pretty consumed by the events of the past couple of days, but here are some of my current reflections on leadership.

I want to be an authentic, honest, and vulnerable leader.
I think that there is an unwritten chapter in leadership school that says that when you step into a leadership role, you have to have it together all of the time and not show weakness. That's simply not true! I find that it's a rare thing to have a leader who is truly authentic, but it's a huge blessing when it happens, and leads to deeper connection and community. I sent an email to my teacher leaders yesterday addressing the fires, and I won't lie, it was hard to write. I know that some of the people I was writing to just lost their homes. I wanted to strike the balance between looking forward with hope and acknowledging the devastation...and that, in many ways, I didn't know what to do or say. After hitting send, it was nice to get some texts and emails back, all checking in on each other, and then to see these teacher leaders send emails to their respective groups with a similar sentiment. When we are real, we are all a little more human.

I want to be a people-first, caring leader.
There is so much to do - all of the time! And I have ideas or programs or tasks or projects that I work on that I think are pretty great ;-). But, ultimately, my leadership needs to be about people first. I think of one of my leaders who always seems to find a moment to check in on me as a person, especially when I need it the most. With these fires, I've been trying to reach out and email and text teachers and some community partners who I know, just to ask how they are doing. Truth be told, it feels awkward at times. I don't know them particularly well, and sometimes it feels like I am going past the bounds of a professional relationship, but I have made a commitment to myself to err on the side of caring for people. And you know what? It has been appreciated. People need people - and that is true whether both at work and in our personal lives, and even more when disaster hits the community.

I want to be an advocate as a leader.
One of the most important things I can do, I am learning, is advocate for my people. That doesn't always mean I have to agree with them or support less-than-stellar work. But I can help set them up for success by thinking proactively about their needs and being aware of those who are looking for a different situation or who would do better in a different environment. I can advise them about what I know (and am allowed to share, whether good or bad) as they make career decisions or even just try to figure out how to problem-solve a specific issue. And I can share their great work with the world and quietly steer them in the right direction when needed. Advocacy is turning into one of my favorite parts of the job - the ability to help others create successful situations is wonderful, and benefits us all!

How closely will I pay attention to my #oneword2022? I'm not sure. I'm trying to go easy on myself right now and take things as they come. But I am confident that leadership will continue to be a part of my journey, and I look forward to seeing how that plays out over the year!

Finally, please keep our community in your prayers - with 1000 families who have lost their homes, I can't imagine how that will play out in the classroom ❤️.

All Teachers Deserve Support

I've taken a long blog hiatus here - between moving (not far, but still) and starting a new school year, my time and energy have been consumed! But I am back, and I want to share something that has been on my mind lately.

All teachers deserve support.

Seems pretty simple, doesn't it? Our district strategic plan motto is "All together for all students." There's a lot of all in there, and I wish we could extend it to teachers. But the problem is, both locally and nationally, teachers' level of support varies greatly. There are a lot of different reasons for this, but I want to focus on one that has popped up in my world a lot: teachers get different support based on what subject they teach.

It's no secret that I spend a lot of time advocating for "specials" or "electives" - art, music, PE, theatre, and dance. You could even add other electives such as world languages and CTE courses in there! I believe that these classes are incredibly important to develop well-rounded human beings, and beyond that, they often are engagement hooks and the reason students are in school. After graduation, many students will follow these paths as hobbies or things they do in their free time - their education in these classes really influences their lives, and should be valued!

Yet we don't see a lot of that when it comes to teacher support.

• How many times has a whole staff been required to sit through a professional development meeting on LA or math? What about art or PE? (I can't count the number of times I was trained on a system or told I have to use it, only to find out it offered nothing for my subject area.)
• How many districts invest heavily in materials for science classes? What about for music class? Are instruments provided or only for the "elite" who can afford to get them? (True story: I applied for a job and was told that a prerequisite for registering for an instrumental music class was that the student could afford to rent or purchase an instrument because the school couldn't financially support that for students. I declined the job offer.)
• Have you ever seen a message, especially during the pandemic, that sounded like, "We are providing xxx support/lesson plans/curriculum resources for all teachers!" only to find out that "all" meant LA/math/science/SS only. (Yes. All the time.)

As a person who advocates for these often-forgotten areas at the district level, it's exhausting. I don't know how anyone does it for long without getting burned out. How can we change the status quo?

• What if we offered more flexible, customized professional development? Not only would it help specials and electives teachers, but I think all teachers could benefit from this! Some need exactly the training we have been offering. But some need something totally different.
• What if we gave teachers the tools they needed to do their job and let them focus on the instruction? I know, this is a pie in the sky ideal because budgets are involved, and money is tight. But I wish that my teachers could focus on how to best instruct the kids in their class rather than spending hours looking for or putting together their own materials because my district can't afford (or is not prioritizing) money to purchase materials for them. Somehow, it just never seems to be a priority for these subject areas.
• What if, when we say all, we truly meant all? This is just my plea to be careful in your communications. I don't believe we always need the same things, and sometimes it makes sense not to do the same thing for everyone - but please don't say all unless you truly mean all.

I feel like I spend every day as an advocate, and it's exhausting. As I recently told my coworkers, I can't do it alone. I need others to jump on board. I feel an incredible weight of responsibility as the one person on the instructional team with this type of background, and I feel like I carry so many voices of amazing teachers who just want to feel supported. I hope we can all come together to make it happen.

*I realize that this is just one of many issues - we could talk about so many other categories of people who experience similar disenfranchisement for other reasons, some even more serious. I by no means want to ignore that, but this is what is on my mind right here, right now, so it's what I'm writing about!

The Joy of Being Back with Kids!

As we look toward next year, I am continuing in my district role, and I'm grateful for that. I enjoy my job (mostly), and I like being able to affect change on the system. But my heart will always be the heart of a teacher. One of my colleagues recently told me, "You still are a teacher, you just teach teachers." It's true, but there's nothing quite like being with kids all day, and I miss it!

That's why, when the opportunity came up for me to run a week-long music camp for some friends' kids this summer, I jumped at the chance! The majority of my time in the classroom was with 5th-8th graders, but this was with 3-8 year olds. Still, it was a golden opportunity for me to feed my teaching heart and have some musical fun with these kids, so I jumped at it!

We had a great time. From music games to musical books to drawing how music makes us feel to exploring different instruments to making our own instruments, the week was a blast! I forgot how much planning it takes to really create good lessons - especially with younger kids - but it was worth it.

As much as anything, this brought me confidence (I can still hop in front of kids and teach music!), but it also back to the day-to-day grind of teaching. Planning, lugging materials around, management...it was a good reminder of everything our teachers do every day. I'm grateful for these opportunities to keep myself grounded, and I fully believe it gives me more understanding and makes me a better leader.

I had fun teaching. They had fun learning. We all enjoyed the music. What more can you ask for?

Our crew on "Make Your Own Instrument" Day!

Educational leaders: I challenge you to take opportunities to get in front of kids and TEACH! It is more than worth it for everyone involved!

Lessons in Leadership: Then and Now

Two years ago, I had my first foray into my current position of leading the arts in my district. I enjoyed it, but it was definitely challenging to make the switch from being a peer to being in charge, with so many of my friends being music teachers! Due to some district restructuring and personnel changes, I took on a somewhat different role last year, but I am (happily) back in a similar position this year. The silver lining is that it has really allowed me to see my own growth as a leader over the past couple of years!

Then, I really approached things as a teacher. I will never forget my supervisor asking me, "How do you think a principal would describe this situation?" It turned on a lightbulb for me!
Now, I find myself thinking more as an administrator. In some ways, this is a good thing, but in other ways, I never want to get too far from a teacher point of view, so I try to talk to several current teachers to stay grounded in everyday classroom life.

Then, I really feared and shied away from conflict. It's hard to stand up and say no to people who are your friends, who were recently your peers! I was so uncomfortable with this role.
Now, I still don't like conflict very much, but I'm more willing to step into it. I feel more strongly grounded in what I believe is best for our students, and I can articulate it when needed.

Then, I was learning so much, and asked so many questions! I remember needing a lot of help to walk through HR processes, budgets, etc. It was a steep learning curve, and I had to learn how all of these things worked before I could really figure out how to approach them.
Now, I am still learning a lot, but it is getting easier! After taking a year "off" from doing this, I'm re-learning a lot, but it is coming back more quickly and I have a much better sense of the big picture. I've been pleasantly surprised at not only how much I remember, but how much I am able to put other pieces into place after seeing different parts of the organization!

Then, I was new. Almost every big decision I made was in conjunction with someone, because I didn't feel very confident and needed other people's perspective to help me develop my own.
Now, I'm still pretty new. I still look for other perspectives, but I don't feel like I am completely missing something, and that in turn gives me more confidence in my decisions. One of the biggest differences I have noticed is in how people treat me - I feel like there is so much more trust! I have asked in a couple of different instances if people want to double-check my work before I finalize it, and the answer is, "No, if you feel good about it, that's fine." This is both affirming and a little scary :-).

Then, I accepted what I was told. If a supervisor or peer said that something should be a certain way, I took it for granted, whether I agreed or not.
Now, I have learned that I can push back a little if it's something I feel strongly about. I definitely have to choose my battles, but I am not so quick to accept "no" for an answer.

It's amazing to me to look back and see my own growth over only two years. I still have a long way to go, but I hope and pray that I will continue to develop into a leader worth following, no matter where my career takes me!

How have you grown in the past couple of years?

What do you think are the most important qualities in a leader?

Nightmares

As a teacher, it wasn't unusual for me to start dreaming about my classroom in August as we returned from summer break, or right before a concert. Every now and then, a nightmare would pop up where I had lost children or where everything broke or some other absurd variation on what could go wrong. It's a common experience among teachers!

Although my position has changed, these nightmares still have a way of sneaking up on you. I can tell I've been more stressed about things lately, because I had my first "FTE nightmare" this week! And in keeping with my attentive #oneword2021, I wanted to spend some time reflecting on where this stress is coming from. Here are some of the things keeping me up at night...

• I'm worried about the future of all electives. Will we double down on math & literacy in an effort to "catch students up" and do so at the expense of the classes that round out their education?
• In particular, I'm worried about the future of music education. Singing events have led to the spread of the virus (although there are many factors to these events), and I fear that, in the court of public opinion, the risk just won't be worth it. Will students not sign up, or will schools not offer these classes?
• Then we come to the numbers game. In the electives world, your job is often determined by how many students sign up for your classes. Our enrollment is down across the board. Many students did not get the classes they signed up for this year due to schedule changes to make cohorts happen (they were just shoved into whatever elective class fit into their schedule). What impact will that have on next year?
• Speaking of that, budgets. What will the federal and state funding for public education look like? My state is known for the B.S. Factor (yes, that's what it's called, the Budget Stabilization Factor, or B.S. factor for short) which creates a deficit in funding public education in order to balance the budget. Less money from the state = hard decisions about what that means in schools.
• Which led to my nightmare. Of having to tell teachers that they are being let go or reassigned. And because our contract (similar to most) works on the basis of seniority, I dreamed about having to let go of some of our awesome teachers, who have created resources and shared and collaborated and worked like crazy to bring amazing content to our kids this year, because they happen to be lowest on the totem pole.
• I worry about the teachers I have the privilege to serve and lead. People are exhausted. Hanging on by a thread. Burned out. The spark, the joy of teaching is often muffled these days because teaching at boxes with profile pictures just isn't the same. And the asks are mounting. Vaccine distribution seems to be bringing hope, but we are continuing to exist in this heightened state of fear and alertness, and our bodies can only take so much of that. And then you add in concerns about job security. Will we make it?
• Ultimately, it comes back to our kids. I worry about their isolation, and also about the pressure they feel. These classes are connectors, they are places for kids who doesn't always do so well in academia to shine. They are often the highlight of a student's day. And with more information coming out about the impact of the pandemic on the mental health of children and teens, with every new story about a suicide or overdose, I think about how important it is that we don't just push our kids back into an environment of focusing solely on academics. There are other, perhaps greater, needs that we must attend to as well.

Usually, I try to be pretty positive on this blog, and I don't mean to say that it is all gloom and doom. I have seen amazing things happen this year, and I know that some good has come out of all of this! But I can't deny that these concerns are a constant rumble of low-level stress, and as planning for next year begins, they are starting to bubble up more.

As I reflect personally, I think that my goal is to hold all of this in balance. It is important for me to have these thoughts and acknowledge them, because they lead to advocating for what I believe is right and making wise decisions for the things under my control. But I can't let the fears overtake my life or drown out the joy of a profession where we truly get to impact lives. My hope for all of you is that, whatever your nightmares and dreams are, you will be able to balance it and still find the joy!

Teaching 1st Grade!

 On Friday, I got to teach a sweet group of 1st graders as they finished their first week of in-person school! Their teacher wasn't able to be there, so I got called in from the district office to sub. I was a little nervous, knowing that the majority of my experience is with older students and not during a pandemic, but it was a blast!

Here are a couple of things I learned:

• The kids did great with wearing masks for most of the day!
• As different as some things felt, so many more things felt normal and familiar. Seeing little people think, learn, and socialize was so refreshing!
• Routines come quickly. This was only Day #4 of being in person for these kids, and they knew their spots, how to keep their distance, how to be careful not to get to close when lining up, etc. It's clear that their teacher really made the classroom a safe and organized space for them, and they are responding!
• Even beneath the masks, there were lots of smiles and giggles. School did not feel like a sterile and scary place.
• The school had it arranged really well for students to stay in their cohorts. We didn't cross paths with any other groups all day, which is important for contact tracing. Things ran like clockwork!

I know that there are many different feelings about returning to in-person school, and I can't judge -- we all have different life experiences and personalities that inform our thoughts and feelings. For me, though, it was a relief to see many of the safety measures truly worked as intended, and school still felt like school. I hope that we all continue to stay healthy and safe, and that we can continue to give students access to in-person learning in environments as safe as we can make them, for both academic and social-emotional reasons.

I'm also glad I got to experience it first-hand. I understand this was only one day, but sometimes I fear being a "district person" locked in an office, making decisions, and not knowing what it is really like. This one day of being back in the trenches gave me a renewed appreciation for exactly how often primary teachers have to tie shoes, help kids with a splinter, or take care of a loose tooth that just came out. And it helped me understand the joys and challenges we are all facing in our return to in-person instruction. I hope I continue to get opportunities to "walk the walk" as we experience this new way of doing school together.

I can't post this blog without saying, I am so grateful to the school where I got to sub and to the teacher who left amazing plans and who has clearly trained these kids well. It was obvious from the moment that I walked in the room that it was a place full of love and care and learning. I just got to experience it for a day :-).

And that, my friends, is my first pandemic teaching experience!

#LessonsinLeadership: Stepping into Hard Conversations

 The concept of not backing away from tough conversations is not new. I remember reading Crucial Conversations when I was first beginning my leadership journey and really appreciating a lot of the concepts, even though I was just starting to think about when I had been in some of these "crucial conversations" with my principals and what that had felt like.

Fast forward a couple of years, and I find myself realizing that I step into many conversations every day, and my words and action matter. This is true for all of us, but it carries even more weight when I am in a conversation where I am in a leadership position and I'm talking to somebody on my team.

Several days ago, I stepped into what I knew would be a hard conversation. It was the end of the day, I was coming from a meeting on a politically charged issue, and I was asked to join this meeting at the last minute. I probably could have said no, but I knew that wouldn't help, so I said yes. As expected, the meeting was emotional and hard. I have the utmost respect for everybody in that video call, and I believe we have a good relationship, but that doesn't make it any easier when I am the one having to deliver/reinforce an unpopular message. I walked away feeling very unsettled, unsure if my presence had made things better or worse, feeling the loneliness of leadership, and just feeling really sad about the situation.

Luckily, I work with some pretty awesome people. Over the course of the next few days, I received several texts and emails from people in this meeting saying thank you and that they appreciated my leadership, that I clearly cared but held onto the integrity of my position and what I needed to share. What?!? It sure didn't feel good in the moment. But apparently it did do some good for me to be there. (Side note: I wouldn't assume that everyone feels the exact same way, but at least it made a difference to some!) These words from my colleagues were a welcome encouragement and have actually given me confidence to continue to dive into hard topics, rather than running away from them.

The lesson to be learned: hard conversations will occur in life. There's no way around it. But approaching them with love, empathy, honesty, and integrity makes them go a little more smoothly. So I will continue to try to hold that space and that stance in all of the conversations that come this next week, month, and year!

#LessonsinLeadership: The Greatest Compliment

Quick post today...my brain is too full to say much! Earlier this week, though, I led a PD session for about 200 teachers. Let's just say that coming back has been pretty overwhelming, and I could feel the tension and anxiety and fear and worry and exhaustion (and maybe excitement?) in the virtual room as we gathered. Most of the questions are ones we don't have answers to yet.

As I was going through the exit ticket responses, this one caught my eye:

I appreciate your positive approach.  It helps bring me back to a better mind space! You are an excellent teacher!

Teacher. That word hit me. Sometimes I feel like moving to a district admin position is like going to the dark side. But this teacher saw and recognized me as a teacher.

That was the greatest compliment I could have received this day!

#LessonsInLeadership: Relationships Matter

If I had a nickel for every time someone said, "We don't know" in the past couple of weeks, I'd be rich.

All kidding aside, this is a time full of unknowns in life, and education is no exception. School leaders and parents are all trying to make decisions with minimal information (and/or information chat seems to change every day).

If there's one lesson I can pinpoint in all of this, it is that a little bit of listening and personal conversation can go a long way.

In the past several weeks, I have received numerous emails, texts, and phone calls from the teachers I help lead in my district. Many of them want to know if we can talk. And my answer is always yes.

I have been struck by how many of these conversations have ended with something like, "Thanks, I feel better now after talking to you." The truth is, I don't really have more answers or give people a whole lot of new information, it's just that we take the time to connect on a human level. We can talk through their individual situation, given the information that we both have at hand, and think about what it means. These conversations may take up some of my time, but the investment in people, in my team, is well worth it. I firmly believe that people will feel more comfortable, less anxious, and be better employees, teachers, and humans when they know that they are in a caring environment!

Contrast this with other situations I've seen, where the directive has been, "The leader is overwhelmed right now, so unless it's urgent, don't reach out." I get it -- this is an overwhelming time, and sometimes we need to focus on other things. But do you notice how that puts up a wall? It communicates that other "stuff" is more important than the person who is looking for help. And even if it is said with the best of intentions, it creates a less comfortable and more anxious working environment.

Even worse than that is when nothing at all is said. When people feel like they are just shouting into the void and not getting any answers. That can feel like, "You issue/question/situation isn't even important enough for me to acknowledge." Does that keep your team engaged and headed in the right direction?

I'm not perfect, nor do I have time to say "yes" right away every time. In fact, one of my recent emails sounded something like this: "I would love to connect, but I need to focus on preparing for teachers to come back next week. Could we try to schedule something after that?" Keeping the door open while politely protecting my time & top priorities for this week was my goal. And I received a very understanding response!

Connection matters. The more uncertain the future, the more people just want to know someone is out there who cares. Be human first, and a worker second. And 99% of the time, it will actually help your work turn out better, because your team is engaged, empowered, and spending more of their time focusing on what needs to be done rather than wondering what the leader is thinking!

Go forth and lead through relationships!

The Ripple Effect of Our Actions

I vividly remember a mistake I made one year when I was a summer school principal.

A teacher had come to me, letting me know that another staff member was consistently coming in late (right as the kids were arriving). This teacher didn't want to be a "tattletale", but did feel like it was affecting the kids and the rest of the team.

Instead of addressing it directly with that staff member, I sent out a general email to the whole staff with a reminder of our hours and when we were supposed to be there in the morning. "I'm protecting the teacher who told me," I told myself. "Now no one will know who snitched."

Later, I found out the ripple effect - a couple of different people came to me, looking unsettled, and asked if that was targeted at them. "I feel bad, I know there was one day that I had to juggle daycare dropoff because my spouse was out of town and I was a few minutes late, but I will make sure that doesn't happen again." "Have I done something wrong?" "Was that about me...is there something we need to talk about?" Yikes - I felt bad! This reminder had NOTHING to do with them. Instead of addressing the issue where it was happening, I had created a sense of unease and guilt among my staff. That is the exact opposite of what I meant to do!

What did I learn from this incident? I took the cowardly way out. I didn't want to deal with conflict directly, so I found a way to avoid it (and even justified it in my mind).

Okay, I know this wasn't a huge deal in the grand scheme of things (one email about showing up on time), but it taught me an important lesson about dealing with conflict and how, as a leader, your words & actions can be magnified. This lesson is now coming to mind as I am on the other side, feeling a little anxious, and being 99.9% sure it's not about me (but is it...?).

Being a leader is hard. You have so much power, and something small can turn into something big. People are quick to interpret things, and they may interpret them differently than what you intended. As leaders, we need to be careful, and mindful of how our actions affect others. As followers, we need to be gracious to our leaders, because they are human too!

If there's one thing I've learned, though, it's that shying away from healthy conflict - accountability, honest conversations, and tough love - is not helpful. I'm hoping for more of that in my world, because even though it can be harder in the short-term, it leads to better relationships and a healthier environment in the end!

Once a Teacher, Always a Teacher

I'm now entering my third year being out of the classroom. Three years. In some ways, it feels like forever ago, but in other ways, it feels like just yesterday that I had students of my own.

It's hard, sometimes, working at the district level. I miss kids. I miss those relationships that only develop when you see them every day. And I miss teaching itself - the art of crafting a lesson, knowing your learners, and connecting with kids in that moment!

I also worry about becoming irrelevant. About losing touch with what life is like when you are teaching kiddos day in and day out. I fear that I might forget the planning, the grading, the parent emails, the hallway duty, and the never-ending stream of wondering how you could help your kids even more.

But then I remember: Once a teacher, always a teacher. A couple of weeks ago, I got to teach a Sunday School lesson at church (to kindergarten/1st graders), and it was awesome. One of those moments where you feel like you have their attention, they are engaged and excited to learn, and everything is just clicking! And then, this week, due to ice and snow and bad roads, I got to be an emergency sub for a couple of hours (until all of the teachers could make it to school). It was so much fun to be teaching kids again! It made me remember that:
1) I still love this,
2) I can still do it (even if I am a little rusty), and
3) I never want to lose touch with teaching.

I'm a firm believer that, no matter where you are in education, it is important to be in schools and important to be in classrooms. That's where the rubber hits the road! I've tried to keep that lens and spend time in classrooms throughout my time in a district position, and I hope I can continue to find little ways to exercise my teaching heart as well!

Walking the Tightrope

Today's soundtrack is brought to you by The Greatest Showman:

I'm writing this morning after coming off of a really hard week. One of those weeks where it feels like you are knocked down, over and over, and every time you try to stand up, another gust of wind comes and keeps you on the ground.

But I wouldn't say it's been a bad week. Sure, that's easier to say on this side of it, but it's been a week full of learning through the struggle and facing what's going on instead of running away from it. Ultimately, I know that will lead to healthier and better outcomes.

So, what's been going on?

Our organization is going through a lot of change at the moment. A massive reorganization of district staff supporting instruction means that I am in a new role, working with a new team, for a new supervisor, in a new place...and so is everyone else. Our jobs are still being defined, and we don't exactly know what everything looks like yet. Of course, as we are figuring things out, we all have a tendency to fill in the blanks with what makes sense to us in our frame of reference. And now, a month into the school year, these assumptions are starting to come out and grate against each other. And that's uncomfortable!

At the moment, I feel like I'm walking on a tightrope. On one side is where we hope to get to with this change - being super supportive to schools, working well together as a team, and doing everything we can to set our students up for success. On the other side is the messy chaos and fears that come with making a change. On a personal level, one side contains a world where I feel excited about my work, where I see how I am making a difference, and where I have strong relationships with teammates and schools. On the other side, I feel purposeless, unsure of what I am doing or why I am doing it, and feel disconnected from those I am meant to work closely with.

The messy middle

I've always loved the term "the messy middle." It acknowledges the reality of things being hard in the moment, but simultaneously shares the hope of things getting better. And that is exactly where I am at right now. Holding on, clinging to my belief that this stage will slowly start to fade away and I will find myself more firmly planted on the light side.

Supporting through change

So, why do I share all of this here? Some of it is because I want to be real on this blog, and share both the triumphs and the struggles. But beyond that, it has made me think about how we support people through change. What felt supportive to me this week?

• Listening - letting me share and process as I tried to navigate the tension I have been feeling
• Reassurance that it was okay to be in this place - we don't have to pretend that everything is great all of the time, and we have all felt this way at times
• A bit of margin - permission to go outside and take a walk for a minute to clear my head and not feel bad for not "working" during this time
• Asking questions - helping me see things from another perspective
• Attending to both the concrete solutions/ideas (let's try this to help) and the deeper emotional side (I hear that you are feeling like this) - seeing the whole person
• Affirmation - when things feel unsteady, it is easy to doubt myself, and the words (especially from supervisors) about what I am doing well were helpful reminders to me

I know that, being in a district-level position, part of my role is help others navigate change as well. I hope that I can be just as supportive as my leaders have been to me, largely through doing things on this list, and through doing that, we will all be able to walk through this change (and others that will come!) and come out stronger on the other side.

How do you support others in navigating change?

Trust

One concept I have been pondering lately is trust. I've worked in schools before that have a good feel to them, and it is often correlated with a high degree of trust in the building. On the other hand, I've also worked in places where the culture is pretty negative, and when asked why things are a certain way, one of the first answers tends to be that there is a lack of trust between different groups. Trust is a big deal. But what do we mean when we talk about trust in this professional sense?

A couple of years ago, one of my principals talked to me about the 3 Cs of trust: caring, competence, and consistency.
*I feel like I should cite an original source here, but I don't really know where this has come from - in my life, it is from thousands of observations and conversations!

Let's break down the different components below:

Caring - Simply put, if I don't believe that you care, it's going to be hard for me to trust you. I need to know that you care about your work, about the kids that we work with, and about their families and lives. I also need to know that you care about me...not just as an employee or coworker, but as a person!

Consistent - This has to do with fairness. For me to really trust you, I need to know that you will not play favorites or act differently depending on the day. Sometimes a lack of consistency is intentional, but sometimes it's unintentional - it's unsettling when you aren't sure how a person will react to different situations! This doesn't mean that you always do things exactly the same way, but you need to have a consistent way of approaching situations, which largely comes from convictions & morals.

Competent - Even with the best intentions, if I don't think you are able to do your job well, I'm going to have trouble trusting you professionally. I need to believe that you have the ability to act on your intentions.

Transparency - This is added around the circle, because it is how we judge the three Cs. Not only is it important to be caring, consistent, and competent, you have to let people see it! Flaunting it is not the goal, and neither is oversharing - but secrecy naturally breeds suspicion. If you are open about how you make decisions and handle situations, I will be more likely to see the three Cs come out, and that leads to greater trust.

While this framework has been helpful for me in building trust, it has actually been more helpful when I feel trust breaking down between myself and somebody else. I can usually pinpoint one of these components as the reason why I'm having trouble trusting...and that helps me ask for what I need and get to a solution more quickly. On the flipside, it is a good reminder to me about developing trust, especially at this time of year when we are meeting new teachers (and students) all of the time!

Trust. An abstract concept that shapes our relationships and interactions. Do you have anything you would add to this idea drawing about trust?

Just Listen

I learned a lesson this week: Sometimes, you just need to create space and listen.

I learned through being on the receiving end. I had been having an issue at work, but I didn't know how to bring it up or deal with it. It was a relief when one of my leaders asked me if I wanted to talk.

This moment was the turning point of my week.

I'm reminded that, as a leader, sometimes you have to seek people out and push/prompt them a bit. I didn't want to bother anyone else, especially at this busy time of year when we are all consumed with getting schools ready for kids! Some people won't be afraid to share what's going on (ever), while others may tend to keep to themselves without prompting. A healthy practice is to create time & space to talk with people without an agenda...and then truly listen to what they have to say. I can almost guarantee it will lead to new information & insights about your team that you would not have known to ask for!

So my challenge to you today? Amidst all of the hustle and bustle, make sure you find a way to create a space to just listen this week. It will be worth it!

"You're too young to be a director!"

How many times have I heard that? Or a similar quote:

"You look too young to be a principal!"

It is usually said as a compliment. It's said with a bit of surprise. And while I don't take offense, it sometimes sends a chorus of thoughts through my mind.

"Why? Do I have to be a certain age to be a director? Is it going to be harder to earn their respect now? Am I going to have to prove myself because I am younger? No, I don't want this to change how I act, I just need to be myself."

And then I start thinking about other implicit biases I see, in myself and sometimes in others. When am I caught off-guard by how somebody looks in comparison to what I "thought" somebody should look like? Is it based on age? Race? Physical appearance? Gender? Something else?

If I am honest with myself, it happens. I think that, if we are all honest with ourselves, we experience this. And...truly...it's okay. I'm not writing here to make anyone feel guilty. What matters is how we respond.

I can question myself: "Why did I think that? What did I expect? What is causing this cognitive dissonance? What does that tell me about myself and how I perceive the world? How does this change my understanding and perception?"

Honestly, it usually happens in the flash of a second, and I can choose to either ignore that brief moment of surprise or dig it out to see what it means. I'm trying to get better at choosing the latter, to recognize my own biases and where I need to grow.

As for being on the receiving end...I can just smile, say, "Yes, I know I am young, but I've grown into it and it's been a great fit," and move on and do my thing. I am in a leadership role because of my character, work ethic, and ability - and that will shine through on its own.

5 Things I've Learned About Tough Decisions

When my supervisor asked me how my week has been, I responded that "I've felt a little beat up this week. But I'm happy with how I'm handling it." Being an administrator is full of making tough decisions, and often, those decisions generate negative feedback. Sometimes, like this week, a bunch of circumstances all converge, and it feels like I am hearing negative feedback about many different decisions and aspects of my job all at once.

"So what? It's a part of the job," you might say. It's true, but the problem is that I can be an approval addict. I want everyone to like me, all of the time! I know it's not healthy or possible, but it doesn't stop me from feeling uncomfortable when somebody is unhappy with me. This year has yielded many, *ahm*, "opportunities" to practice getting over this tendency.

As our conversation continued, she asked me, "What's different, that makes you you feel like you are handling it well?" While I can't narrow it down to just one thing, here are five things I've learned about making tough decisions:

1. Root your decisions in data, and don't be afraid to share your thought process.

This has been one of the biggest things for me to fall back on in my conversations. I don't make decisions "just because". There is a method to the madness! And when it is rooted in data, whether qualitative or quantitative, it is easier to articulate in a way that makes sense. Transparency and building understanding go a long way in helping people move forward after tough decisions.

2. Respond. Don't put it off.

As I have heard from a wide variety of stakeholders about decisions that I have made and responded, some people have seemed genuinely surprised and grateful to get a response. It's so tempting for me to put off calling back after hearing a voicemail or responding to an unhappy email, but when I do, it actually starts the conversation off on a good note, because it shows that I genuinely value their feedback and am willing to have a conversation.

3. K.I.S.S.

Tough conversations can wander all over the place, which is okay, but in the end, I want to keep it simple. I need to be able to boil my decision down to a couple of simple talking points and keep returning to them. This takes me out of the space of having to respond to every emotion and accusation that comes up, and focuses on the core issue. I don't mean to say that you shouldn't listen and respond, or that you shouldn't be open to changing your mind...but make sure you are staying rooted in the real issue at hand, and not wandering into side issues as you go.

4. Proactive communication > reactive communication

As much as possible, proactive communication can help soften and set the stage when decisions need to be made. Nobody likes feeling caught off-guard! Sometimes it even helps to know that a decision is coming, so people can prepare themselves for it.

On a similar note, if you think that things might escalate, it never hurts to give your boss a heads-up that you anticipate some possible pushback. At that point, you can make sure you are on the same page and both feel comfortable with the decision, as well as your response.

5. Trust yourself, but be open to others.

Ultimately, no matter how others feel about it, some decisions are mine to make. I have to be confident enough in myself to know that I am doing the best I can with what I have, and that is enough. Sometimes I'll make mistakes, and that is okay too. This is where being open to others comes in. Prior to making a tough decision, soliciting feedback can keep you from missing certain angles and perspectives. After a decision has been made, if somebody points out something you haven't thought of, be open to that. Weigh it against your reasoning, and see if it changes your thought process. Don't be afraid to take more time to think about it if necessary. But in the end, if the decision is yours to make, the person you have to convince is yourself. Trust your instincts.

We all have decisions to make every day. What have you learned about making tough decisions? Share your tips and thoughts below!

Aspen Summit 2019: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Last weekend, I enjoyed another #EdTechTeam summit. It was nice to be back in the ed tech world again, a bit weird to remember what it is like to present, and amazing to think about how much I have grown in the ~6 months since I last presented at a summit. I went through the #GoogleEI academy, have grown into an administrative/leadership role, and done a lot of personal reflecting and growing along the way.

A picture is worth a thousand words. I didn't capture as many details this weekend as I sometimes do in my sketchnotes, but I wrote down what was most meaningful and important to me. And that's what it's all about, right? Making meaning.

Have a great weekend, everyone!

Grace in the Moment

This week, I have had lots of tough conversations.
But I have also witnessed incredible grace.

Nothing sticks out to me more than when I was delivering bad news to a friend and colleague this week, and she was clearly very upset (with good reason). But then she turned it around on me and said, "I'm sorry, it's probably been a hard week for you, delivering bad news to so many different people." Wow, talk about empathy - thinking about how I feel in a time like this?

Her comment reminded me of the humanity of this profession. Sure, we are workers, but we are people first. And people can love and support each other, no matter what the circumstances are.

It also made me think that, while I hate the fact that I have to have some of these conversations, it's also an honor to be able to stand with people in tough times. I can handle the news with as much compassion, kindness, and care as I can. There's something so beautifully human about being with people in their brokenness and vulnerability, and mine as well - it creates a bond. A human connection. An authentic relationship.

So, while it stinks to deliver bad news, it comes with an opportunity. Whatever the news or relationship may be professionally, in that moment, we are two people on the same ground, connecting with each other. And that's worth something.

I guess it hasn't been such a bad week after all!

Inspired by Brene Brown's video on empathy - watch it here!

Trust

Trust.

This word has been on my mind a lot lately, as I have been thinking about leadership in education. A #hacklearning chat last week. Interviewing candidates for a principal position. Going through a reorganization in our department at work. Figuring out a schedule for the art, music, and PE teachers in the district for next year. All require...

Trust.

Our #hacklearning chat was about the trust between teachers and administrators, but I think the same concept can be applied to students and teachers, or anywhere there is a power differential. It is important for administrators to be trustworthy, because they often are the ultimate decision-makers. It is important for teachers to trust them, because they often have a perspective and have more information than teachers. Yet trust is not blindly given, it is earned. One of the ways to earn trust is for administrators to trust their teachers by empowering them and giving them freedom when possible. It goes both ways.

Trust.

Interviews are an interesting exercise in trust. You have to trust that candidates are putting their true selves out there, not just spinning a great story for the committee. You have to trust the process of screenings and earlier rounds, and believe that once you get to interviews, the best candidates have truly been brought forward. And, in a process like the one I participated in, the committee doesn't make the final decision...so you have to trust that your input will be heard, considered, and brought together with all of the other voices to make the best decision possible. That becomes easier if you trust the people ultimately doing the hiring.

Trust.

I'm going to be honest, here - this reorg has been the source of many questions and fears (along with excitement & potential for things to improve). There are so many little details that I wonder about! And I really like to know what is going on...all of the time. Yet the thing that I fall back on is trust. I trust that our leaders who have envisioned this change really believe it will help, and I trust that they will figure out the details. I trust that our leadership has the 3 Cs - they are capable, competent, and caring. This trust means that I can let go of my need to know, my desire to advocate at every turn, and my own ideas of how things should be. There is still a time and place to share all of that - and I do - but then I can leave it be and let them take my ideas along with all of the other ones and choose the best path to move forward. One of the big reasons I feel comfortable doing this is because I have seen, many times, these leaders choose to do what is right rather than what is easy. That gives me confidence that it is not only the loudest voices that will be heard! It's freeing to let go, but it's only possible because of the trust that has been earned.

Trust.

And now I come to a place where I have to ask for trust from others. As I develop the schedule for next year, I am acutely aware that the decisions I make will have a significant impact on the lives of my teachers and their students. I worry about making the right call, and I am asking for a lot of input. Now, don't get me wrong, I think it is essential to involve as many voices as possible in the process, but I was struck when one of my teachers and friends said to me, "We trust you to make good decisions, even if they aren't always what we would have wanted." Being on the flip side made me realize that it is so much easier for me to give trust than to feel like I have earned it from others. It's affirming to know feel like my teachers trust me, and I want to live up to that! In a time where I am having to make some hard decisions, it has encouraged me to reflect on my relationships with leaders I have trusted - and, as mentioned above, something that means a lot to me is when leaders prioritize what is RIGHT over what is EASY. This tidbit has given me confidence to move forward on some things that may or may not be popular with everyone, but I believe they are the right thing for our kids and our district. As a person in a leadership position, it is my job to make these choices, even when it is uncomfortable. But hopefully, the thousands of other little decisions that have been made along the way have laid a foundation of trust for those who are affected.

Trust.

I could on and on, but one thing is clear: trust is foundational to all of our relationships, including those in schools.

How do you go about building trust with those around you? What makes (or breaks) trust in a relationship?