Trust

One concept I have been pondering lately is trust. I've worked in schools before that have a good feel to them, and it is often correlated with a high degree of trust in the building. On the other hand, I've also worked in places where the culture is pretty negative, and when asked why things are a certain way, one of the first answers tends to be that there is a lack of trust between different groups. Trust is a big deal. But what do we mean when we talk about trust in this professional sense?

A couple of years ago, one of my principals talked to me about the 3 Cs of trust: caring, competence, and consistency.
*I feel like I should cite an original source here, but I don't really know where this has come from - in my life, it is from thousands of observations and conversations!

Let's break down the different components below:

Caring - Simply put, if I don't believe that you care, it's going to be hard for me to trust you. I need to know that you care about your work, about the kids that we work with, and about their families and lives. I also need to know that you care about me...not just as an employee or coworker, but as a person!

Consistent - This has to do with fairness. For me to really trust you, I need to know that you will not play favorites or act differently depending on the day. Sometimes a lack of consistency is intentional, but sometimes it's unintentional - it's unsettling when you aren't sure how a person will react to different situations! This doesn't mean that you always do things exactly the same way, but you need to have a consistent way of approaching situations, which largely comes from convictions & morals.

Competent - Even with the best intentions, if I don't think you are able to do your job well, I'm going to have trouble trusting you professionally. I need to believe that you have the ability to act on your intentions.

Transparency - This is added around the circle, because it is how we judge the three Cs. Not only is it important to be caring, consistent, and competent, you have to let people see it! Flaunting it is not the goal, and neither is oversharing - but secrecy naturally breeds suspicion. If you are open about how you make decisions and handle situations, I will be more likely to see the three Cs come out, and that leads to greater trust.

While this framework has been helpful for me in building trust, it has actually been more helpful when I feel trust breaking down between myself and somebody else. I can usually pinpoint one of these components as the reason why I'm having trouble trusting...and that helps me ask for what I need and get to a solution more quickly. On the flipside, it is a good reminder to me about developing trust, especially at this time of year when we are meeting new teachers (and students) all of the time!

Trust. An abstract concept that shapes our relationships and interactions. Do you have anything you would add to this idea drawing about trust?

A Safe Place

Where is your safe place?

When you are having a hard day, where do you want to go "escape" to? Do you run to the bathroom? Is it your car? Do you just want to be home, or out somewhere at a special place?

Who do you pick up the phone to text or call? I know that I have certain people that I can text and say something short, like, "It's been a hard morning, please pray," and they will be there for me. I know that when I get those texts, it's not the time to ask a million questions, but a time to just be there (virtually) to provide support.

Do our kids have safe places?

The beginning of school is full of transitions and new things, and that can be overwhelming for some of our kiddos! With new teachers and classes and sometimes a new school, where is their safe place? Who can they go to? Do they have an outlet when they just need a moment to breathe?

Teachers, principals, and everyone else in schools - as we begin the year, please be willing to be a safe place for our kids. Respond with grace and compassion. Know that the beginning of the year and all of the change can trigger fear and anxiety in many students. Some will show it more than others, but they all need to know that they have a safe place at school if needed.

And for those of you who, like me, work in the central office - be a safe place for those you support. Working directly with kids every day can be emotionally draining, and sometimes we can help carry the burden that teachers feel every day, leaving our teachers with more energy to be on the front lines with our kids.

Do you have a safe place? Can you be a safe place?

I have the feeling that if we all did a little more of this, the world would be a better place .

Just Listen

I learned a lesson this week: Sometimes, you just need to create space and listen.

I learned through being on the receiving end. I had been having an issue at work, but I didn't know how to bring it up or deal with it. It was a relief when one of my leaders asked me if I wanted to talk.

This moment was the turning point of my week.

I'm reminded that, as a leader, sometimes you have to seek people out and push/prompt them a bit. I didn't want to bother anyone else, especially at this busy time of year when we are all consumed with getting schools ready for kids! Some people won't be afraid to share what's going on (ever), while others may tend to keep to themselves without prompting. A healthy practice is to create time & space to talk with people without an agenda...and then truly listen to what they have to say. I can almost guarantee it will lead to new information & insights about your team that you would not have known to ask for!

So my challenge to you today? Amidst all of the hustle and bustle, make sure you find a way to create a space to just listen this week. It will be worth it!

Blogging Break

Hello friends! I have loved posting on this blog for the past several years, and blogging has become a part of my weekly routine. At the same time, I have found myself struggling to figure out what to write more and more often. Not being in the classroom provides me with a rich new perspective, but one that is harder (and, at times, less appropriate) to share publicly.

I'm not good at saying no to things, but as we begin the new school year, I think I need to give myself permission to take a break from weekly blogging. I will still post on here as I feel inspired, and with any luck, I will actually be spending more time in schools this year, which might fuel my blogging creativity!

Allowing myself to take a break from something is never easy...but it is all a good lesson in #selfcare, right?