#oneword2019 Reflection: COURAGE

2019 was a weird year for me professionally - a year of growth and change. I would really divide it into two parts: the end of the 18-19 school year (when I was in one position) and the beginning of the 19-20 school year (when my position changed). My #oneword2019 was courage, and I needed in both phases!

Here's what I wanted to have:

• Courage to embrace change
• Courage to look at things differently
• Courage to say no to some things and give up control
• Courage to do what's right, not just what's easy
• Courage to not run from tough conversations
• Courage to step out with confidence and lead

The first half of my year was all about courage and growth as a leader. I'm proud to look back and say that I did try to do what is right, not just what is easy, to have some tough conversations, and to lead with confidence. I also had the courage to take on a leading role in our district's strategic plan, something that felt way over my head! I grew so much in being willing to make hard decisions and stand behind them, yet (hopefully) deliver them with grace and compassion. I came out feeling stronger, and realizing that I really could do some things that scared me...and do them well! It wasn't all positive, but I am happy with the way I was able to put courage into action.

As I transitioned into my new role over the summer, a different kind of courage was required. I found myself often having to reflect on that bullet point of saying no to some things, because they were no longer my job...which was hard! I needed the courage to embrace change, because whether I wanted it or not, change was here.

To be honest, if I were to pick a word for the second half of my year, it would be struggle. Struggle isn't always bad, but it isn't ever easy. And it takes courage to keep going through struggle.

It's been a struggle to settle into my new role, to figure out what my days look like now, and how to work with a new team. Sometimes, courage has manifested in having the strength to look inward to figure out what really is triggering my frustration. Sometimes, courage has been being honest about how I am feeling and what I need. Sometimes, courage has looked like continuing to show up, to be present, and to put one foot in front of the other when it's hard.

In an unexpected way, through the highs and the lows, courage ended up being a very appropriate word for my year. It's something I know I need to carry with me into 2020 as I continue to hope through the struggle. But a new year is a time to focus on a new word.

What will it be? Stay tuned!